Top Ten Tunes for the Anti-Valentine

Wayne Madden | Sunday, 08 February 2009

Top Ten Tunes for the Anti-Valentine

Valentine's Day is just a few sleeps away - a time to celebrate with that special someone everything that's romantic and full of joy in your life.

If you're fortunate enough to be snuggling up with a loved one this weekend, why not go that extra mile and burn them a romantic compilation CD?

A warning, though, not to ruin that intimate moment as we count down our list of top ten anti-Valentine love songs...

Play content 10. REM - Everybody Hurts
It's generally understood that almost everything REM has ever released would be a bad choice as an after-dinner aphrodisiac. Musical genius? Yes. Romantic? Definitely not!

Play content 9. Ugly Kid Joe - I Hate Everything About You
Early 90s Rockers Ugly Kid Joe are remembered for very little, except perhaps this song - and a cover of 'Cats In The Cradle' - both of which are neither heartwarming nor romantic. Certainly a bad idea to get down on bended-knee during this song.

Play content 8. The Smiths - Girlfriend In A Coma
If you're fortunate enough to receive a flat-pack shelving unit by that special someone this weekend, we'd recommend avoiding any drunken home DIY. But if the rosé does give you that extra confidence boost to get that drill out and it all goes wrong, this might just be the song for you.

Play content 7. The J. Geils Band - Love Stinks
If you've ever been fortunate to see Adam Sandler's brilliant 80s parody comedy The Wedding Singer, then this song's inclusion here should come as no surprise. Without doubt a brilliant stroke of musical 80s genius. Also a great morning after song for if the previous evening's romantic Valentine's curry turns nasty.

Play content 6. Aerosmith - Dude (Looks Like A Lady)
Originally written about Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil, this Aerosmith classic is something that feels upbeat and positive throughout. It's not likely to be something your boyfriend/husband would appreciate hearing at that tender moment.

Play content 5. Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
A song of rejection, abuse, and being treated unfairly by a loved one makes this a classic nono this February 14th. A great song for those filled with self-pity or loathing for that cheating partner, though. If your partner's cheating - and you know it - why not play with their head with a spot of Mudd?

Play content 4. Pet Shop Boys - What Have I Done To Deserve This
The Pet Shop Boys knew heartache; they wrote about it for a decade, and this collaboration with the late Dusty Springfield proves that nothing is certain - except perhaps that every cause has been lost - and is absolutely out of the question for that first dance.

Play content 3. Girls Aloud - The Loving Kind
Written by non other than Pet Shop Boys frontman Neil Tennant, 'The Loving Kind' is a more recent addition to the ranks of anti-Valentine's songs, but is still a great example of what happens when some girls just simply lose interest. Grab those tissues now, boys!

Play content 2. Dead Milkmen - If You Love Somebody Set Them On Fire
Don't give them ideas, especially if you've just met. A criminal record check might just be in order if your new-found love insists on bringing this one to dinner. Scorching!

Play content 1. The Beatles - Yesterday
Top spot goes to this crooner - as well as being a classic, its also the most-covered pop song in history. It's safe to assume that when Lennon/McCartney wrote this track they weren't looking to rekindle their relationship, rather just 'Let It Be'.

That concludes our look at some of the best anti-Valentine's tunes on the planet. Leave your comments below with your suggestions on songs not to play to your loved one this February 14th.